HOT: Japanese Bath House, 59 Cromwell St, Collingwood

The Japanese Bath House is located just a short walk from my house, so as part of the extended 30th birthday festivities I thought I'd treat myself to a rejuvenating soak. I'm not old, I'm just dehydrated!

The bath house is an unprepossessing white brick building, sitting amongst the grungy warehouses of fashion wholesalers. However, slide open the glass door and it is an oasis of calm, with trickling water and green foliage. You're handed a bath towel, a scrubbing towel, a smaller towel to protect your bum from the heat of the sauna benches and a robe, and then you can proceed upstairs to the gender segregated baths.

The procedure for bathing was much the same as any other sento/onsen (which uses natural spring water). I stripped naked, sat on a small stool and scrubbed myself pink, then slid into the warm bath, breathing in the wafting scent of cedar wood as I closed my eyes. After it got too hot, I washed myself again, popped into the sauna for a steam, then back out for a refreshing shower, another dip in the warm bath and one final shower. The whole process took about an hour, after which time I wrapped myself in a robe and lazed in the tatami room reading 'The Housewife's Handbook: How to Run the Modern Home'.

While I love the soothing ritual of Japanese baths, and the egalitarianism of young, wrinkly, fat and thin all bathing together, I'm not sure I would go to Japanese Bath House again because my silky smooth skin cost me $26 (more if you book a shiatsu massage). Cheaper than flying to Japan, I guess.

HOT: Rebound Sports Physio, 266 Johnston St, Abbotsford

I'm pretty embarrassed. Today I had to shuffle to Rebound Sports Physio, not because of a sports injury, but because I sneezed too hard and put my lower back out. Damn those core muscles!

The last couple of days have been spent pretty much wincing from my latex foam mattress to the Le Corbusier chaise lounge, but as my glutes were tightening around my lower back like there was no tomorrow, it was time to take physio action.

Sport physiotherapist Ann Wu has just opened her practice with a myotherapist and remedial massage therapist, so it was pretty quiet when I arrived. She seems have done some cool stuff in her time, including being head physio to the Chinese Olympic basketball team and working with Gymnastics Australia and VFL teams. She was thorough and knowledgeable and gave me a deluxe 80 minute treatment that had me feeling a whole lot better afterwards.

HOT: Time4Fitness, 2/131-135 Johnston St, Fitzroy

The first time I visited Time4Fitness I was struck by the gym's sweaty smelliness. Well, the smell seems to have dissipated, but I still wouldn't shower there. Oh well, for $12.95 a week I can't be expecting too much glamour and its basic setup and proximity to my house will do the trick. They have the usual cardio and weights equipment, magazines to read, a smattering of morning and evening classes and service is super-friendly.

HOT: Action School of Yoga, 1st floor, 275 Smith St, Collingwood

Continued unemployment means that my diary is starting to become more and more akin to that of my retired parents. So Monday, Tuesday, Thursday = yoga.

Luckily for me, Action School of Yoga is based only a short walk away from my house. The single room has high ceilings, a large window looking out over Smith Street and the usual accroutements of Iyengar practice - wall rings, blocks, bolsters, mats, chairs and ropes. There have not been more than eight people in the daytime classes ($16 for 1.5 hrs prepaid) so both of the excellent teachers Joel and Robin have been able to provide regular adjustments for my yoga-lapsed body. Oh, the sweaty effort of rediscovering the shoulder stand!

NOT: Fernwood Women's Fitness Clubs, 475 Flinders Lane, Melbourne 3000

I know that it's very ungrateful of me to NOT a gym where I'm getting free membership, but this blog is all written in the spirit of honest criticism.

The Flinders Lane branch of Fernwood feels small and dingy, and I think it's because there are no windows except the narrow frontage. They have all the usual equipment, but the class timetable is pretty sparse and the early morning class is at 6:45am, way too early for me. As a member you have breakfast for free and the change rooms look clean and provide things like hairdryers and deodarant.

Overall, if I was to pick a city gym, I don't think this compares well to Genesis.

HOT: Genesis Fitness Club, Level 2, 50 Lonsdale St, Melbourne 3000

In a bid not to start sagging at 30 or to have my wedding photos recording unsightly bulges for posterity, I've decided to join a gym. Well, sort of. Budgetary constraints and a lack of certainty in my living and work locations mean that I'm actually being a guileless gym tart by lining up a series of free trials at various gyms around the CBD.

First up is seven days at Genesis Fitness Club. Their website looked a bit cheap and amateurish, so I was surprised to find a bright, clean, spacious and well-equipped gym, with lockers that use a pincode instead of the ones where you have to put a coin in (which you never have with you, or forget to retrieve at the end). I've already been to the yoga and pilates class, and I'll be making sure I get the most out of this week's gym membership by also trying out Bodypump, Cardio Blitz and spin classes.

HOT: Aesop Facial Treatment , 153 Toorak Rd, South Yarra 3141

During my teen years, I was lucky enough to display smug, blemish-free skin while everyone else at school was bulk-buying Clearasil. My luck changed though when I hit my last stressful year of school and for years later I was stuck in a quagmire of testing, searching and discarding skincare products - until I was Saved By Aesop *light shines from the heavens*.

To be more specific, I was saved by Maria, who works at the Aesop South Yarra store. Maria is the queen bee of Aesop's facialists, having been lured out of retirement by the founder of Aesop to develop a series of facials for his products, and who also trains every Aesop therapist. There are only two people in the world I trust with my skin now - Maria and Ingrid (ex-Aesop therapist at Liberty in London).

The whole Aesop facial experience is calmly luxurious. When you enter, you are handed a light sarong and then given a choice to shower before the facial. You then lie back on the super-comfortable bed, snuggle up with a duvet and a cashmere throw, and let Maria do her magic. Basically, I trust her to do whatever she wants with my skin - she not only uses Aesop products, but will incorporate fresh 'botanical booster' ingredients, while at all times giving a sure and steady massage. This time she decided to give my ravaged skin an antioxidant Vitamin C boost. Not cheap for $150 but a lovely treat.

HOT: Stelios, above 54 Bridge Rd, Richmond 3121

Long ago when I first moved to Melbourne, I asked my flatmate whether she could recommend a hairdresser. She immediately launched into an enthusiastic PR spiel for her hairdresser, known as Stelios (only one name required, like Madonna). My haircuts gained such widespread acclaim that at one stage literally ten of my friends were getting their hair cut by him - including the infamous Huy virgin-headshave, which launched the beginning of many bald man smouldering photos.

After being away from Melbourne for two years, I was relieved to discover that Stelios was still working. His salon sits above the Biba salon in Richmond - there's no sign and he doesn't advertise, as his loyal clientele keep him busy enough. My visit was the same as usual - vibrating massage chair for the hairwash, organic hair products, minimal conversation (as I like to use the time to catch up on my trashy magazine reading), careful snipping and shaping, ending with a ruffle of Sebastian clay for that bed-hair look. $75.